The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
