He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
