I just cut my nipple shaving
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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