we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
