he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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