I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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