Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
