32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
