I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
