Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize