i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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