Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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