everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
