i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
