i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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