i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
