walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There r osticjed everywhere
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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