I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
