I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
