he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
