You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
