chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
