Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
