Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Damn victory sex feels great
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
