Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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