Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
