for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize