would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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