I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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