Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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