Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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