Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
