His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize