If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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