Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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