did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It's Friday. Sex?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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