No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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