wat bout pragnant strippers??
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
