It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
