Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I need a beard to bite.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
