I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
