i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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