if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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