Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
