Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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