He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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