Already got asked if we're dating
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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