he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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