oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I need to calm my uterus...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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