If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i've created a new STD.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
