Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
