hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
