I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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