I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
