Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We are all done wearing pants today
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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