can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
