NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
