her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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