Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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