Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
