We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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