mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
