I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
