Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
