Dual....:-)
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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