I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
