Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
