And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
