just come out here and I will go home with you...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
