ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
