How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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