call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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